You Won't Know How Until You Get There
Do you stop yourself from trying something because you don’t know how to do it? You believe that you need to know the right steps from beginning to end before you can take the first one? I’ve got something just for you and it’s probably going to upset you at first (It definitely did for me).
You won’t know how to do something until you do it.
I know, crazy right?
To give you a visual, imagine that you’re about to go on an epic road trip from Los Angeles, California to Seattle, Washington. There are plenty of ways to know how to get there - navigation apps, Thomas Guides, even winging it and navigating blind if you want! It should be so easy right?
Except, Google maps isn’t going to tell you when to take a break, when and where to stop for gas, what snacks are going to keep you full until you’re next restaurant stop, what region has the safest hotels to stay at for a night, having noisy neighbors in the next room, how to manage rude customer service or restaurant patrons, replacing a flat tire, forgetting your umbrella at the last restaurant, packing extra hand sanitizer when the Starbucks bathroom is out of soap, what to do if you’re get annoyed at your extra passengers for the next 30 miles until the feeling passes, or when to switch lanes so you don’t miss the tricky off ramp. You make it to Seattle, but you had to experience everything else in between to get there and it wasn’t in the original plan.
Imagine you took this road trip annually. The second and third time, you’d have a much smoother experience with your increased knowledge. By the fourth time, you’d probably be a pro and could handle any situation that arises.
In today’s day and age, you can get the general outline to almost any goal you want but there will still be unique challenges that you will have to navigate, even in the most detailed of plans. Your personal experience as you attempt each step becomes your best teacher and only in hindsight can you see how you got the result you wanted.
Let’s try this with an actual goal. Maybe, you want to eat healthier in order to have more energy. The general How To outline would be:
Take stock of all the things you eat now and toss anything that doesn’t align with what you want to consume anymore
Grocery shop for items that will help you make healthy meals
Prep the meals so you can you consume them
Notice how the foods make you feel and if your energy rises or falls
Consistently do this
Here’s what actually goes into reaching this goal:
Learning to feel the discomfort of not eating the things you use to as you walk by your favorite restaurant, grocery aisle, or vending machine
The time it takes to research new recipes
The extra time and effort it takes to prep ahead each week
Waking up earlier to actually eat breakfast
Buying new tupperware since you now bring your lunch to work
The new recipes not tasting as good as you want them to at first
Being ok with people noticing that you’re eating differently and allowing them to have their opinions
Not seeing an immediate difference in your energy levels and managing the feeling of disappointment
Staying on track when it’s easier to go back to old habits
Forming new routines to support your changes
After sticking with this change for 3 months, you finally have consistent energy throughout your day thanks to your new habits. The first month, it felt like a hot mess. The second month, things began to find their rhythm. And the third month, your routine felt second nature.
Again, those are unique challenges you will have to navigate in your own way. There will be tools and systems to help you at each one of those turns, but adapting them to fit your needs will still be your work and take time to integrate into your lifestyle.
You won’t know the how until you get there.
Like I said, I was upset when I first learned this because realizing this fact meant I would HAVE to fail. There was no fail-proof plan on anything. Up until this point, I would never do anything I believed I would fail at because, if I failed, it meant I was not good enough as a person.
To accept this idea, know that you can mess up and you are still worthy as a person. Messing up means that there’s a skill that needs to be developed and have NOTHING to do do with your value as a person. Failure and disappointment will become your exact roadmap to strengthening the areas that will help you get to where you want to go. Every experience is shaping you into the person who can handle the level of success you want.
Adopting this idea will change the way you approach every life experience. Stop waiting to take action and learn by getting started now.
If you’re looking for support in doing this yourself, sign up for coaching with me. Together, we can navigate the the hardest parts together and help you come out the other side as you new you. Change is challenging because it requires growth. The best news is, you never have to go through it alone.