The Day I Decided to be Perefect
I can clearly remember the day I decided that I was going to be perfect. Not in the self-love kind of way, but, the strict, confining notion that I would be a person who never made mistakes. It was my first day of middle school, and as I looked around at the red brick walls and unfamiliar faces, I decided that I would never give them a reason not to like me.
See, the problem was I was desperately looking for certainty. Certainty that I would be accepted by my new peers, that I would get good grades, that I wouldn’t be known as an outsider. I looked for certainty in life by aiming for perfection. I believed that if I did everything "right" there was no way I couldn't succeed. But, with that mindset, there was no room for error. Every mistake meant I was going to fail. Every failure signaled that I wasn’t good enough.
Can you relate?
If you’ve ever found yourself looking for social acceptance, validation, or proof of your worthiness, I want you to know that you are enough. You don’t need to become a better version of yourself to show the world that you deserve the things you want in life.
The fact of the matter is, we weren’t meant to be perfect. We were meant to live life, have experiences, and love other imperfect humans living in this world. We should aim to better ourselves not to prove that we are worthy, but to be ready to optimally accept opportunities as they come. Striving to be your ideal self doesn’t mean you don’t love who you are, it means you acknowledge your quirks, habits, and flaws and decide whether or not it is benefiting you as you become the person you want to be. Just like a flower being pruned so it can fully bloom.
I looked for certainty in perfection and found that certainty doesn't exist. My advice to you is to let go of the idea of perfection and choose to live a life full of failure and mistakes, because those always make for the greatest lessons and best stories.